Homeless encounters

THURSDAY JANUARY 5TH, 2012

Author's side note: Homeless people are not real people, they are the first stage of zombies. They are contagious, smelly and make you feel uncomfortable no matter who you are.

Today must have been one of those rare, momentous occasions where after I took a shower and put some cologne on I accidentally grabbed the hobo attracter cologne. As soon as I walk out my door and I head to the train I am not even a block away from my house and I see a homeless man across the street. He had a very large amount of shit in a shopping cart and was attempting to cross the street to communicate with me and wrangle some change. Me being me waited patiently to see this crack head try to cross the street for I knew this would be funny. In his attempt of lifting his shit filled cart over a curb, he clipped one of the wheels on the edge of the curb and the cart and the crack head fell over into the street. Pop cans, Foldgers cans filled with screws and shards of metal, crack spoons and jugs full of stale urine spilled across the street. He started screaming and moaning and grunting homeless words. He looked up at me and I looked and him smiled and went to the train and moved on with my day. 

Later on that day.........

 So later on that day I was around the south loop helping my friend with a school project. As we were filming some B roll shots for his short film A homeless man named mike came up and started talking to me about hockey, Dan Marino and baseball.

Homeless Log Encounter

Later in the evening.....

 Now I wasn't really and asshole to this homeless man but he was on the train with me and a large group of Chicago commuters. When he dropped his ripped jeans and took a doody on the floor of the train. The train smelled like anchovies, a musty ol' cottage and a nursing homes diaper hamper.

Today is Thursday January 5th, 2012 and I am a Resident Asshole.