Author's Side Note: I tend to be a very gassy person and it really is a burden more then a gift or a talent. My stomach is always upset and as a result I fart a lot. I am not proud of it but it's just the nature of the beast. Here is a list of places that are inappropriate to pass gas or do the one cheek sneak.
1. At Church, while getting communion as the priest hands you the bread of the lord. Peace be with your asshole and asshole to you.
2. A funeral or wake.
3. On a very crowded bus or train, where you are standing and some ones sitting next to your butt area. This is a sure fire way to have an unwanted fisting session on the transit.
4. On an elevator (I just blame it on the person next to me)
5. In a classroom were you have at least 4 women surrounding you.(I just blame it on the person next to me)
6. In line at the DMV..... never mind it smells terrible already all bets are off.
Today is January 16th and I am a Resident asshole
